lj me

last moments of 39

I don’t feel old and then sometimes I do. What is 40? It’s easy to say it’s just a number but it’s a significant number. It means that time has passed. Time long enough to watch cycles of life and a bit of death. Beginnings and endings. And still the future seems bright.

Nothing is what I imagined it would be at this age for me. I think I always thought I’d have a kid or two, a house, a job. No kids and the clock is winding down. Had a house but now not. And the job is decent but not spectacular. Still, I know that my life is good for what I do have– a good husband, wonderful family, and great friends. And I like to think I can still see beauty in the simple things, the little miracles each day brings.

I still look forward to the days ahead and wonder what may be in store for me. I will continue to unleash my bits of creativity and hope to find that trigger to turn it all into something more. There’s always more and I hope to always want it. I strive for balance each day and try to be a good person. For what else is there to do?

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