fellas, TWITL

TWITL – week fifty-two – when you don’t know what day it is

It’s that time of year when you’re not sure what day of the week it is. Or at least for me. I decided that instead of one whole big chuck of time off during winter break, I’d make two long weekends of five days each. As I begin this, I’m at the first day of my second long weekend.

trees in the park
Xmas trees at the park

I last posted on Christmas, which was a lazy sort of day that ended at one of our locals for drinks and dinner. Going in to work the next day was odd but I had plenty of time to do my work. I worked a half day on Friday, which was even odder. We were pretty much a skeleton crew both days and it was nice and quiet in my building. After work on Friday, I went to see a movie!

Knives Out – I very much enjoyed this movie. I love murder mysteries and trying to figure out what actually happened. The performances were all stellar and of course, I loved watching Chris Evans. I used to have a big thing for him and now it’s quite settled. I still think he’s dreamy and in this movie, he was rather dreamy. Lovely Chris Evans aside, the movie was a great watch and a definite recommendation…

this 1888 design piece
my latest piece from 1888 Design

Much to the chagrin of the hubby, I went on a sort of online shopping spree during this winter break. Among my recent purchases: another lovely piece from 1888 Design (I cannot resist a sale), a Tyler Rich t-shirt (to complete my current collection of Tyler t-shirts), a t-shirt and tour book from Jack Whitehall‘s online store, a new computer, a pendant that’s The Witcher themed, and Bath and Body Works stuff. The first three orders were made before Christmas and the first two arrived before the holiday (joyous!). I didn’t expect the Jack stuff to arrive too soon because they were coming from Great Britain and I had no idea how long it would take to get to me. I had no way to track the order, having only gotten notification when it was sent off. So imagine my great surprise when the mail arrived on Friday afternoon and my Jack stuff was one of the deliveries!

My buys from Great Britain arrived!
new stuff

The t-shirt fits nicely and the tour book is super lovely. It’s bound like a graphic novel and the pages are thick. I was so delighted for the delivery and it arrived sooner than I expected, which was a wonderful surprise. The tour book is a fun read, filled with pictures from Travels with My Father and other things, an interview with Jack, and writings from his parents.

something new


I never did post that “break up” letter to that one Listworthy of mine. Do I just not want to post that kind of negativity? Has my regard finally turned to a sort of indifference? I’m not sure. Maybe so. My better nature has finally soothed away enough of the bitterness and I’ve gotten to the point where I don’t care if my former Listworthy has decided to trust a backstabbing hypocrite. Okay, maybe I haven’t quite gotten over it.

The following resonated with me (emphasis mine):

“I don’t need to tell anybody here, we live in a moment where everything immediately seems to default to outrage,” Abrams continued. “There’s a kind of M.O. of just either ‘It’s either exactly as I see it or you’re my enemy.’ … It’s a crazy thing that there is such a norm that seems to be devoid of nuance and compassion — and this is not about Star Wars, this is about everything. Compassion and acceptance … We knew, starting this, any decision we made—a design decision, a musical decision, a narrative decision—would please someone and infuriate someone else.”

JJ Abrams responds to criticism of The Rise of Skywalker, says you can’t please everyone

I know the notion that I fangirl over shows and artists can be considered an odd thing at my age but I’ve accepted the fact that this is what I am. So I do understand when fans are protective over the characters or stories that they love. What I do not understand is the venom spewed by these so called “fans” when an adaptation or plot course has deviated in some way from their own personal vision of the characters or stories. Do they think the version they conjured in their head is the only true version? Do they think that others cannot have just as valid a version? What if the actual creator of the stories actually approves of the adaptation, do the fans dismiss and disregard this? I understand a thoughtful debate on quality and comparison of source material vs an adaptation. What I don’t understand is the default to outrage and the blind insistence to not see another side.

And then it’s hard when you love something someone you know has decided to hate.

I’ve found myself self-censoring my social media and to some extent my blog in regards to showing love towards something new I’m fangirling because someone I know has been vocal to hating it. I don’t directly engage but I’ve been trying not to post too much about loving it in consideration of this person who quite vehemently and quite venomously HATES this new thing that I love. I feel that if I post this thing that I love, the person who hates it will take it as a personal attack when it’s not. It’s just me loving this new thing. The hateful venom saddens me but I don’t take it personally. So then why don’t I just share my love? Why am I putting so much thought into not offending this one person when this one person obviously doesn’t care who is offended?

Jack in Brighton
Jack in Brighton


“I’ll Dream of You Again” – The re-write is going SLOW on this story but it is plodding along. It’s a bit hard to add new bits and then try to re-write previous bits that end up contradicting the new bits. I still love the story A LOT so I’m going to keep writing it. Maybe I’ll even let people read it someday. It’s utterly ridiculous so it might just be for me for awhile…

episode 1
already time for a re-watch or at least lots of screencaps…


It’s a little strange to think we’re heading in to the 20s. When I was growing up, I used to think, “How old will I be when 2000 hits?” or “How old will I turn in 2000?” Now, it’s very strange to realize that 2000 is nearly twenty years ago. I can’t remember every turn of the new year but I do remember what I was doing when it went from 1999 to 2000– I was walking down the hall to leave work as I had to work swing shift that December night, 1600 hrs to midnight. A few weeks later, I’d be in Pasadena for a Hercules/Xena convention and I’d meet Ryan Gosling again. It would also be the last time I’d see Kevin Smith (“Ares”). Twenty years ago seems like a long time and then not…

Kevin Smith
Kevin Tod Smith… such a beautiful man…

What adventures await in 2020? Will I finally declare Jack Whitehall a Listworthy? What story will I write for November? What concerts will I attend and will I get a photo with someone I adore from afar? Will Tyler Rich get that number one song? Will I finally get my next tattoo and if so, what will it be? Will I finally post that “break-up” letter? Will another fella catch my eye?

I’m not one for resolutions but this time of year, I do take the time to assess where I am in life and what I might want to adjust to achieve better balance. Even though there’s an abundance of negativity out there and reality is a bit of a crap show, I believe there is enough beauty and light out there to see us through and that’s my focus. I’ve learned not to react or engage directly with certain things, instead opting with venting privately with people who are of the same mind. When I post on social media, I prefer to keep it light and happy and loving. Of course, that doesn’t mean I’m not aware. I am. I just choose to ignore it because life is too short to dwell on other people’s negativity. It’s fun to talk shit about it but those are for private moments. Just because someone wants to spew venom doesn’t mean I must engage. So I don’t. I turn instead to the things that make me happy…

Rey & Superman win!
Rey & Superman – last ones standing…

If you made it this far, cool beans! Thanks for reading my rambling thoughts. Now go on and do something that brings you joy. Here’s to a lovely end to 2019 and a 2020 filled with amazing adventures. CHEERS!