my name isn’t cameron

drifting through these dreams
seemingly unconnected
by nothing at all

I must ask, why are people so stupid? Case in point, I have had a certain gmail address for just over seven years now (YOWSA!) and I never use it. I don’t use it at all but it’s still mine in the event that I might want to use it at some future point. Anyhoo, it’s not a common name but it could be a nickname for Cameron or Camille or any C-A-M name out there and as such, people often email me thinking I’m someone else. I’ve created a vacation reply to those who might mistakenly email me because I don’t want them to think that the person they’re trying to reach is ignoring them. Sometimes if I’m in the mood, I’ll actually send a real reply just to stir things up. Well, it’s gotten slightly out of hand with one of these people.

Someone named Matt emailed my addy and my auto response went out as follows:

Thanks for writing. Before you reply to this email, please read it in its entirety. If you still choose to reply, don’t be surprised if I think you’re an idiot.

You don’t know me. I know this because I have not given this particular email address to anyone. Not yet anyway.

Please call the person you think you’re emailing and verify the email address. Or, if you do know me (which is unlikely), please email me at my other email address. And excuse my rudeness in the first paragraph.



And Matt replied:

What is your problem Cameron! Are you mad at me or something?

I couldn’t resist and replied with the following:

Wow, did you *not* read the email? You DO NOT KNOW me. I am NOT Cameron. I’ll repeat– I AM NOT CAMERON. Cameron is apparently using *MY* email address for stuff and it’s really very much starting to piss me off. If you actually speak to Cameron, tell him to get a new email address and stop using mine.


I thought that was the end of it and then someone named Ellie decided to email me as well (I’m not sure if Matt and Ellie are emailing the same Cameron, but whatever). After my auto-reply, she emailed the following:

nono im pretty sure your my frend cameron sooo…

I’m dealing with children, right? I replied with the following:

Really? You’re pretty sure I’m someone named Cameron? I am not, therefore you are wrong. Sorry!

I haven’t heard back from Ellie, so yah! Maybe she actually has a brain and understands. 🙂

Today I received another email from Matt, even though I pretty much called him stupid the last time he emailed me. He emailed this:

Don’t send annoying and creepy emails to e when i send emails to you.

WTF? I emailed this back:

I am not the person you think I am. If that’s creepy, well, too bad. How about you stop sending emails to a stranger.

The boy had the audacity to email the next:

my friend verified the email adress. THIS IS HIS EMAIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU ARE THE ONE USING HIS EMAIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m not exaggerating the exclamation points. 😛 My reply:

How can that be when I’m the one emailing you right now? Have him try to log into and he won’t be able to. Guarantee it…

Think that will shut him up? I hope so. It’s getting annoying but it’s also quite amusing how stupid people can be. And if I’m dealing with children, someone needs to stop them from emailing strangers.

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